The tube: get it right
23Feb10
Listen up London, you’re doing it wrong. You have the privilege of a world-class mass transit system and you can’t use it right. Shame on you, here are the rules.
The Tube (via realSMILEY)
- Let me off first. Don’t be the dick blocking the door and don’t even think about getting on before everyone is off. My elbows are pointy.
- Hold on to the nearest handrail. Don’t reach across my face. If you do fall over; don’t expect any help.
- You’re not getting my seat unless you’re definitely, 100%, disabled. Being fat doesn’t count, nor do mental disabilities (I’m talking to you Mr starey), and if you’re pregnant I may ask for proof.
- What’s with the cross over? If you’re to the left of the doors stay left when you board, learn your lane discipline! Do I need to remind you about the elbows?
- I won’t move if you stare at me. I won’t move if you shove me. You can ask, but the answer is no.
- Dash through closing doors at your own risk. Count yourself lucky not to be openly mocked if you fall, help is out of the question.
- Stand on the right. Walk on the right too, you’re moving so slowly you barely count as moving anyway.
Break the rules and suffer my English scorn (a stare and a sigh). I’ll deal with you tourists later.
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